They'll have to settle on being tall, handsome and only filthy rich. For most people, that would be a welcome fate but identical twins, Cameron and Tyler Winklevoss, - along with college business partner Divya Narendra - thought they had a good shot at becoming insanely rich by suing Facebook. Today's decision by the 9th U.S. Circuit Court of Appeals left in place a lower court decision, effectively killing off their hopes to reopen an earlier agreement settling their claims against Facebook.
What it means is that the original agreement - now worth more than $160 million because of Facebook's appreciating value - stands. Not bad, though it pales when you consider that Facebook was recently valued at $50 billion. At this point, the twins and Narendra are probably not in any mood, but when the cloud lifts, we have a few ideas how they might ease their sorrows. (L-R) Tyler and Cameron Winkelvoss attend 'The Social Network' Paris premiere.
Credit: Julien M. Hekimian
Suggestion No. 1: Pay for a private performance by Charlie Sheen to learn about the secret of transforming run-of-the-mill hemoglobin into tiger blood. An extra few bucks might be enough to tempt the "goddesses" to show up as well.
Credit: AP Photo/Charles Sykes
Suggestion No. 2: Charter a plane trip with Space Adeventures for 35 people - it only costs $165,000 - for a "ZERO-G Experience. With any luck, you can try and invite the guy in the middle of this picture to come along for the ride and pitch him on reviving ConnectU as Google's new social network. Too much of a moonshot? (pardon the pun) Not to worry: When it comes to the wacky world of the Internet, far crazier things have occurred - such as this one./
Credit: Getty Images
Suggestion No. 3: Carve your initials underneath Venice's world-famous "Bridge of Sighs" (so named by Byron because it was the last view that convicts saw before they were marched off to prison.)If you're feeling ambitious, scratch into the wall something about Mark Zuckerberg's acting cameo on "Saturday Night Live." Italian authorities might stick you with a hefty fine, but it's well within the budget - best yet: the diss' will be there for all of eternity.
Credit: istockphoto, Bridge of Sighs, 4x3
Suggestion No. 4: Buy a newspaper. Since you ran into a (cyber) wall with new media, maybe you'll have better luck with old media. OK, it's a potential money pit but at least you'll have company hanging at the watering hole with like-minded souls musing about what might have been.
Suggestion No. 5: Hire Aaron Sorkin to write a sequel to the "Social Network" in which the twins come out ahead and Mark Zuckerberg winds up working as a code jockey for AOL - only to wind up having to be the 24 x7 tech support contact for Arianna Huffington.